As I stated in the last blog, I have a 14 month old that still gets rocked to sleep. I'm sure a lot of people rolled their eyes and thought, "Seriously? She's doing something wrong". Judge all you want, but it's just what works for us right now. We've tried cry it out many times and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
For those of you who don't know the term CIO, it's basically a controlled method of letting your child cry for intervals of time until they've cried themselves to sleep. Typically, a parent would wait 10 minutes, go in the room, pat baby on the back and tell him it's okay and goodnight. Then stretch to 15-20 minutes and repeat the process. This all comes from the Ferber approach. There are other, much less horrifying approaches as well, such as the camp out method.
I tried a version of the camp out method many months ago. I slept in the floor of the nursery and any time I heard Jase stirring, I would pat him on the back. When he had crying fits, I would rub his back, making sure not to pick him up, and help him settle back to sleep. This approach actually worked really well and he was sleeping much better within a few days. However, throw a sick baby in the mix and all sleep training goes out the window! So the process started over again. His sleeping got better, then worse.
Around mid-December, I made a big mistake. Zombified, I walked into his room in the middle of the night (after he woke up crying of course), picked him up and brought him to bed with me. Worst habit to break people!! When you're tired and desperate for sleep, you'll do some crazy things. Let's just say since then, I've struggled to get that kid back in his crib at night. Back to crying it out we go.
I've read so many articles and studies on CIO v. non-CIO and there are some very valid points. So, as I lay in bed listening to Jase cry through the wall, tears rolling down my face as well, I look at the clock and see how long he cried. TWO MINUTES. Wow. I can't get through two minutes without feeling like I'm a horrible parent.
I thought back to an article I read about children that stayed by their mother's side all the time. This was mainly due to predators and fear of the child getting attacked (we're talking cave man times here). But what a good point. Babies are trained to be by mother's side at all times for protection and comfort. I also read a study done on babies that were put through the CIO method compared to babies that were not. The babies that were put through CIO method had more stress on their hearts and were more likely to develop heart problems later in life.
So in the two minutes I listened to him cry, all of this is running through my head. However, I continued to try this cry it out method for several days. It's all or nothing with this method, so you have to stick to it and let them cry all night. Not once at bedtime, then comfort them the next. No, it's all or nothing. After a few days, Jase picked up on what I was selling and slept through the night. The next night was a different story though and he cried almost every hour, then woke up sick. Yup. Sick. Again. I couldn't believe it. I waited until he was better and tried again. A few nights went by and same thing. Sick baby. The odd part is he will have one night of sleeping great, then the next he is awake all night, followed by another night of just waking once.
I've come to the conclusion that the CIO method just doesn't work with Jase. He is not a crier normally. He has always been a happy baby so my mind is thinking, "if he's crying, then there's got to be a valid reason". I'd be hard pressed to try cry it out again, but I would like some sleep! When he does sleep, I'm still awake checking on him though. I'll just keep telling myself it has to end eventually!
I tried a version of the camp out method many months ago. I slept in the floor of the nursery and any time I heard Jase stirring, I would pat him on the back. When he had crying fits, I would rub his back, making sure not to pick him up, and help him settle back to sleep. This approach actually worked really well and he was sleeping much better within a few days. However, throw a sick baby in the mix and all sleep training goes out the window! So the process started over again. His sleeping got better, then worse.
Around mid-December, I made a big mistake. Zombified, I walked into his room in the middle of the night (after he woke up crying of course), picked him up and brought him to bed with me. Worst habit to break people!! When you're tired and desperate for sleep, you'll do some crazy things. Let's just say since then, I've struggled to get that kid back in his crib at night. Back to crying it out we go.
I've read so many articles and studies on CIO v. non-CIO and there are some very valid points. So, as I lay in bed listening to Jase cry through the wall, tears rolling down my face as well, I look at the clock and see how long he cried. TWO MINUTES. Wow. I can't get through two minutes without feeling like I'm a horrible parent.
I thought back to an article I read about children that stayed by their mother's side all the time. This was mainly due to predators and fear of the child getting attacked (we're talking cave man times here). But what a good point. Babies are trained to be by mother's side at all times for protection and comfort. I also read a study done on babies that were put through the CIO method compared to babies that were not. The babies that were put through CIO method had more stress on their hearts and were more likely to develop heart problems later in life.
So in the two minutes I listened to him cry, all of this is running through my head. However, I continued to try this cry it out method for several days. It's all or nothing with this method, so you have to stick to it and let them cry all night. Not once at bedtime, then comfort them the next. No, it's all or nothing. After a few days, Jase picked up on what I was selling and slept through the night. The next night was a different story though and he cried almost every hour, then woke up sick. Yup. Sick. Again. I couldn't believe it. I waited until he was better and tried again. A few nights went by and same thing. Sick baby. The odd part is he will have one night of sleeping great, then the next he is awake all night, followed by another night of just waking once.
I've come to the conclusion that the CIO method just doesn't work with Jase. He is not a crier normally. He has always been a happy baby so my mind is thinking, "if he's crying, then there's got to be a valid reason". I'd be hard pressed to try cry it out again, but I would like some sleep! When he does sleep, I'm still awake checking on him though. I'll just keep telling myself it has to end eventually!
Oh I totally agree with this. My little one is now 3 and I remember those nights all too well. You can definitely tell the difference in your baby (even at 14 months) crying because he/she is lonesome, or crying because something is wrong. We did CIO some nights, and like you, there were nights when TWO MINUTES seemed like an eternity. We totally did the "do what works for you" method. My husband used to travel for his job, so when my little one got older (after 2 years old) and my husband would be out of town, I would put her in the bed with me. (Our master is downstairs and her bedroom is upstairs.) In a big house by yourself, it was just easier for her to be in the bed with me. Plus (she's a daddy's girl) it was kind of a treat for her to get to sleep in my bed. Now, at 3 years old (and with my husband not traveling anymore praise the Lord), she sleeps great in her bed at night. By herself. All I can say is you do what works for you as a family, and you're right, it won't last forever. I would venture to say that in just a few months, these days will probably be over. That's our experience at least :) good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and for the comments. You're right. Sometimes it is just easier. He's already starting to show improvement in his sleeping thank God!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! We're connected through friends of friends, so I'm definitely enjoying your blog! :)
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