Where to start?

Never in a million years did I expect to walk away from a $60K/year job with nothing lined up. I'm not the type of person that doesn't have a plan in place before I make the next move. I've worked hard my entire life in order to get ahead of the game and always kept myself busy. I found that the more a person stays busy, the more organized they become. When you are sitting in an office for 9-10 hours a day, miserable and watching your life pass by, you start to think about the 'what if'...

So my 'what if' moment slapped me in the face around October when I realized how much of my son's life I was missing compared to how demanding my job was...and all for a job that I wasn't in love with. This job was just that: a job. It was not my true passion. So I put in my notice and December 31, 2014 was my last day. "On to new adventures", I thought. 

Now I must tell you that my son, Jase, was sick a LOT last year. In his first little tiny year of life, he caught everything you could think of. Croup, colds, ear infections, bronchiolitis, hand/foot/mouth virus, stomach virus. It seemed like we were at the doctor every month for something new and this took a heavy toll on my heart. Throw in stress from work and you could say I was starting to slowly lose my mind.

In life, people need to constantly re-invent themselves. My epiphany moment in October made me realize that I needed to move on to better things. I am a creative spirit and need to be in a position where I'm free to create. I thought "I can take 2015 and make things happen". Take care of my son, get myself healthy, start writing again, and land that dream job. 

So my first order of business is getting my baby healthy. However, I did not expect to be thrown back into the doctor's office on January 5th (my first official Monday off work) but there we were again. It's never a good thing when the nurse calls you back into the room and says, "back again?". Yes, we were back again, just a short nine days later. The doctor comes into the room, evaluates Jase and tells me that they want to try a breathing treatment. 

Pitiful baby

When the door opens again, it's the nurse with this gray machine that has tubes and a face mask. She hands it to me, quickly shows me how to operate it, then leaves the room. My first thought...are you kidding me?! I've got a cranky, very strong one-year-old who is fighting me tooth and nail and screaming bloody murder. I have to do this alone? Once I finally got the mask on his face, I started singing in order to calm him down. After about five minutes, he relaxed and we finished the treatment. The doctor came back into the room and prescribed inhaler treatments and an antibiotic. A week and a half later and I can report that he is doing much better. 

Over the past year, we've gone through a lot of lows, but the highs make those lows seem so insignificant. I started wondering if there were any other moms out there feeling the same way I felt. When I opened up to other new moms, I realized there is nothing special about the way I feel. It is so common that it almost makes me feel normal again! This blog is not only to help inspire me again, but to inspire other moms that might be going through similar situations and to realize you are not alone. This is my first child, and I am doing the best that I can. I am making do with what I've been given and hoping to make this year amazing. I would be lying if I said this didn't scare me a bit!

Me and Jase-all smiles!